How to Give Positive Feedback: The Critical Call for Appreciation
Raise your hand if you are overwhelmed with everything on your plate right now. Raise your hand if you are struggling to keep every plate spinning. Raise your hand if one of the critical elements that might be slipping by is the simple act of taking an extra minute to express appreciation for your team’s hard work.
Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude. We hear a lot about it, from daily gratitude practices and gratitude journals to mindfulness “gratitude retreats”. But what does it mean for you? As we move out of a period that is paradoxically full of both gratitude and consumerism, it’s worth considering how showing appreciation to employees can affect the environment we work in.
As leaders, the act of giving compliments isn’t always done in a strategic way. The power of appreciation cannot be overstated – if you aren’t using positive feedback in your favor and being thoughtful about how you are executing praise, then you are missing out on an essential part of leadership.
The 5:1 Ratio
5 positive comments to every 1 criticism, right? Well, not exactly. The exact numbers behind that old adage have been debunked, which isn’t surprising – we are all a little more complicated than that. However, the spirit remains. Humans tend to focus on the negative, and criticisms can linger for much longer than praise.
With that in mind, it is worth considering the amount of praise you are giving. Is it closer to that fictional ratio? Or do you need to be a little more proactive when you show appreciation and gratitude?
Not All Praise is Equal
Have you ever cringed in the middle of a meeting when a colleague gave you a big, public shout-out? Or perhaps you’ve been in a one-on-one meeting with your boss when they gave you a great compliment, only to think “Wow, I wish someone else would have heard that.” Not everyone likes to be recognized in the same way.
Remember that praise isn’t one size fits all – you should be tailoring your positive feedback to the individual. If someone loves public praise, then go ahead and splash their name and photo up in the All-Hands Meeting. If they are more of a private, personal feedback sort of person (like me), then make sure to set some time in a meeting with them to explain their good work thoroughly.
Not All Praise is Equal
If the only time you are recognizing your team members is during a half-enthusiastic, forced birthday shout-out or (cringe) crowd-sung rendition of “Happy Birthday”, then you may want to rethink how you recognize your employees. Not everyone loves celebrating their birthday. Some find it actively uncomfortable or worse, they may have negative memories tied to the day. So, instead of defaulting to birthdays, why not ask if there’s a particular day that holds significance to an employee?
How to Give Praise
It can be awkward to give feedback. But there’s an art and a science to it, and a few things to keep in mind: Specificity, Brevity, and Authenticity.
Be Specific
Clarity is key. Articulate exactly what it is that you appreciate about a colleague, and highlight specific examples of what they have done to trigger this feedback. Specificity ensures that feedback is meaningful – don’t get lost in vague variations.
Keep it Brief
Brevity is the soul of wit – and it’s also crucial in giving feedback. A compliment is great, but a 15-minute praise session is painfully awkward. What’s worse, is that it will dilute the impact of your words. Keep it concise and focus on the key points.
Speak from the Heart
People can smell inauthenticity from a mile away. Above all, be genuine in how you give positive feedback. Don’t say things that you don’t believe to be true – if someone knows that they didn’t do well on a project, don’t praise them just for the sake of morale. All that does is erode your goodwill.
Have Gratitude for Your Employees
Who knew that giving a compliment would be such a minefield?! In the ever-evolving workplace and with the changing dynamics of both remote and in-office environments, nuance is crucial. Self-awareness about how you are presenting feedback can be invaluable. Be purposeful and thoughtful in how you give feedback and show appreciation. The simple act of appreciation is one of the most powerful tools you have as a leader. It has the potential to improve psychological safety, boost morale, and enhance engagement – so make sure that you are using it to your advantage.
Meridith Marshall is the CEO and Founder of Uncharted Way and has seen firsthand how people and organizations can navigate the most difficult of circumstances with clarity and openness to improve employee experience and culture in their workplace. She is an industry-recognized expert in using a data-driven approach and is a therapist and certified Co-Active coach.