Ten Questions to Deepen Your Connection with Your Team
Most leaders overlook how important depth is when connecting with employees. Surface-level conversations can only offer surface-level replies and only lead to surface-level connections. To get a deeper connection, you need to think about the why behind the questions, and craft your questions in a way that encourages a two-way conversation.
Of course, this requires a level of psychological safety. But by asking the right questions, leaders can gain deeper insights into their team’s needs, motivations, and challenges.
What Questions Can Help Deepen a Connection?
The following questions are designed to deepen connections between you and your employees. One common thread in all the questions below is openness. They promote open-ended answers that lead to conversations. Remember the reason behind answering these questions. It isn’t to get to the answer as quickly as possible, it’s to get a better understanding of your employees’ viewpoint and foster a deeper connection.
What would make your job more fulfilling?
This is always a great question and often leads to easy, actionable steps that can actively improve happiness in the workplace. It allows you to understand the passion and values behind your employees – allowing you a path to better align their work with their internal drivers and motivations.
How do you feel about the current team dynamics?
This is one of the most open questions on this list, allowing space for employees to fully articulate the health of team interactions. Remember to actively listen to the answers – by utilizing that “third level” listening, you can hear what the employee is trying to say, and what they aren’t saying out loud.
What opportunities for growth and learning would you like to explore within our team or the company?
Investing in your employees is a cost, but one that pays dividends. Make sure that you are providing the right areas of growth by asking employees what they are looking for in personal development.
What else do you need from me or the team to be more successful?
Most employees will have at least one source of friction that they feel is holding them back. Giving them space to express this allows them to verbalize how to make their job easier – it’s a win-win.
How do you like to receive feedback, and how can I ensure it's helpful for your growth?
We’ve talked about the concept of “user manuals” before on the blog – Work Style Guides that allow colleagues a better way to understand how an employee likes to work and how you can better work with your team members as a leader. A huge part of this is the question of how people like to take feedback. Knowing this can be a powerful way of deepening connections and creating a culture of continuous improvement.
What motivates you to do your best work, and how can I support you in maintaining that motivation?
There’s no denying the significant role money plays as a motivator for people to work. But most people aren’t at work just for the money. In what ways can you motivate workers? Figure out the “why” of people’s work, and what makes them want to work harder. You can use that information to make their environment one that supports individuals in doing their best work.
How do you like to be shown appreciation?
This is another question that leads into the Work Style Guides conversation. Everyone likes receiving positive feedback and appreciation in different ways, and not recognizing that can actively harm the employee/employer relationship. It’s important not to fall back on stale and overused acts of appreciation; if everyone is being shown appreciation in the same way, there’s an opportunity for improvement.
What obstacles are you facing right now that you'd like to discuss or get assistance with?
There is strength in addressing challenges head-on. Showing willingness to support your team by listening to problems and allowing space for discussion creates a much more open environment and encourages team members to loop you in on issues much earlier in the process.
How does this job bring out the best in you?
Where do your employees feel best at work? When do they feel “flow”? Knowing this can help you help them and highlight where they like to position themselves in the workplace, playing to their strengths.
What's the best thing about your life right now?
Your employees are people, not just workers. Asking this allows space to get into the personal at a level that they feel comfortable with. Don’t underestimate the nuance of this question – it can be one of the most powerful questions on this list for building a deep connection with employees.
Deeper Conversations, Deeper Connections
Think about these questions and other questions that can give the same space for open answers in a conversation. Whether you pepper these questions in throughout meetings and one-on-ones or set a specific time to delve into a deeper conversation, there’s one thing to prioritize over everything: listening.
Listen actively and be open to feedback, even when it’s challenging. Deepening connections with employees requires more than just surface-level interactions. Questions such as “What would make your job more fulfilling?” and “How do you feel about the current team dynamics?” not only provide actionable feedback but also strengthen the employee-employer relationship. But only if you listen, and treat it as a conversation.
Meridith Marshall is the CEO and Founder of Uncharted Way and has seen firsthand how people and organizations can navigate the most difficult of circumstances with clarity and openness to improve employee experience and culture in their workplace. She is an industry-recognized expert in using a data-driven approach and is a therapist and certified Co-Active coach.