More Than One Guru: The Benefits of Having Multiple Mentors to Achieve Your Goals
Introduction: What is a Mentor and Why Should You Have Multiple Ones?
The wise guru on the hill. The person in the office who knows all the ins and outs of the biz. The end-of-career expert who is telling you exactly what to say, and what not to say, to get where they are. The idea of a mentor in professional development isn’t new - but perhaps we can approach this concept from a different angle. What is better than having a mentor? Having multiple mentors.
A mentor can be anyone who has experience and knowledge in the field you are trying to enter or excel in, and who is willing to share their expertise with you. Whether it is navigating a complex career or tackling specific tasks, a mentor can provide advice, guidance, and support. This is slightly different from a sponsor, whose main purpose is to promote you within the workplace and throughout your career, making sure that you are “on the radar” for people.
With multiple mentors, you can still gain insights from those who have been where you want to go and learn how they achieved success in their respective fields - but you won’t be tied into one worldview or area of expertise.
For example - perhaps you know somebody who is fantastic at moving through corporate culture, but they work in an entirely different industry. It would be a shame to pass up this person’s valuable input just because they aren’t a good fit for a single mentor.
Similarly, you might know somebody within your industry who is a brilliant worker or craftsperson when it comes to the day-to-day, but terrible at soft skills. It would probably be a mistake to only take on this person as your mentor, because you will be missing out on an important side of career guidance.
Find mentors who complement eachother - this way, you can get the best of both worlds. This doesn’t just apply to skills. It can also apply to culture, background, and identity, allowing you to experience, understand, and appreciate different world views.
You can also find a mentor who really understands YOUR unique point of view. This is even more important for individuals who are in a minority at work - having somebody that has your lived experience of color, gender, or orientation can be incredibly helpful.
Additionally, having a wide network of mentors will also give you access to invaluable resources such as contacts, industry knowledge, and career guidance.
Who is the right mentor for you?
Finding a mentor can be one of the most important career decisions you make - so it can be a daunting task. Many people worry so much about finding the “right” mentor, that they end up never finding a mentor at all. One of the great things about having multiple mentors is that this choice becomes much easier - but that doesn’t mean you can throw a few darts at the wall of candidates and see what you end up with.
What do you want from a mentor?
What are you hoping to get out of getting a mentor? Think hard about this. With all the talk about “finding a mentor” in popular culture, the choice can almost become automatic. Of course, you need a mentor - all the advice says to get a mentor! But think specifically about what that means for you.
Do you want someone who is there purely for one-off advice sessions? Perhaps you want to focus on your career, rather than the specific work you do. Maybe it’s the exact opposite, and you have the business side of things down but need a guide to hone your craft.
A great way of approaching this is to write a fictional description of the imaginary “perfect mentor”. Make a list of what they have done in their life, and how they want to help you. Set aims for how often you want to meet and the specific guidance you are seeking. This way, your goals are clear.
Finding Your Mentors
The bad news is that finding a perfect mentor is nearly impossible, unless you get extremely lucky. The good news is that with multiple mentors, you don’t have to find a perfect single guru that can teach you everything! You already have a list of attributes that you have identified as important in your search for a mentor. Looking for multiple mentors means that you can create your own “buffet” of advice.
People You Already Know
The place to start is your own contact list. Nothing beats shopping from your own closet when it comes to mentorship - there is a pre-existing relationship to build on, they are probably already familiar with your work, and they are more likely to agree to mentor you if they know a little more about you.
One word of warning - mentorship can change a dynamic. Ask yourself if you are willing to look at the relationship between you and your prospective mentor and think about how this new aspect might change things. Will it make things more formal between you and them? Perhaps it will bring you closer - do you definitely want that? There’s a lot to think about!
LinkedIn can be a great resource for mentorship. You aren’t limited to people that are in your LinkedIn connections, but it’s a great place to start. From there, you can search their connections to find other people in your industry (and outside of it) who might be relevant resources for future conversations.
Mentorship Programs
As mentioned earlier in the article, the concept of professional mentorship has been around for a long time. There are dedicated mentorship programs that can help you in your search for a mentor, which often have a proven track record.
One tip: don’t trust everything in a mentorship program at face value. Use a critical eye, and think about who you are being introduced to. If they aren’t right for you - say so!
Networking Events
The phrase “networking event” strikes fear into the hearts of some - the awkward standing around, blatant non-subtle networking, quid-pro-quo introductions, and “quirky” name tags can definitely be a little cumbersome. But the fact remains that these old-school events have stuck around for a reason. People get a lot out of them, and nothing beats face-to-face connections.
Networking events are easier than you think. Introduce yourself politely, listen to what people are saying, ask questions, and give your thoughts politely. I like to use the 60/40 rule with networking. The other person should be doing 60% of the talking, while you’re getting curious, and asking questions.
Be upfront about what you are looking for! You never know who knows who, and even if you don’t find your mentor at a networking event, you might meet the person who will introduce you to them. Don’t forget to ask that all-important question - “who else do you suggest I talk to?”.
Reciprocal Mentors
The idea of a reciprocal mentor is fascinating, and the concept is becoming more and more popular. With reciprocal mentorship, you are both taking on the role of mentor and mentee, co-mentoring eachother and providing support in either role as needed.
This approach requires respect and empathy, but can be incredibly rewarding. Try to find a person who is in the same stage of career as you, and holds similar goals and opinions. This could be someone who you already value as a friend or co-worker - but be conscious to separate and compartmentalize your relationship as you act as friend, mentor, coworker, or mentee - otherwise, boundaries are blurred and feelings can get hurt.
Approaching Mentors
Once you have identified potential mentors, it’s time to reach out. Obviously, it depends on how you identify your prospective candidates - you wouldn’t want to send the same email that you would send to someone you met online to a possible mentor who you know already. So how do you craft the perfect email asking someone to be your mentor?
The key is to make sure that your email is professional, polite and concise. Explain why you would like their mentorship and what value they could bring to your life or career. You don’t need to be overly flattering - but mention how much you admire their work, or where they are in their career, and how it aligns with your goals.
By taking the time to properly approach a mentor, you will be able to establish a strong connection with them and benefit from their knowledge. One important thing - don’t be afraid of rejection. 99% of the time it isn’t personal, and they just have too much on their plate. Perhaps they don’t feel comfortable in a mentorship role, or already have a mentee who they spend time with. No mentor is perfect - so no mentor is indispensable.
Tips for Utilizing the Advice from Multiple Mentors
Networking with multiple mentors can be a great way to gain insights and advice from different perspectives, industries, and even cultures. But often the guidance that you get can be conflicting. What do you do in this situation?
Here’s the wonderful thing - conflicting advice isn’t a bad thing. It’s great! This sounds strange, but part of the reason that you are looking for multiple mentors is that you want those varying approaching.
Figure out why the advice is different. Is it because one mentor values certain aspects, like financial safety, while another one places an emphasis on something else, such as taking risks? Conflicting advice isn’t usually because one of your mentors is right, and one is wrong. It’s often just a different approach. Which one is best for you, in your current situation?
Having Multiple Mentors Can Help You Unlock New Opportunities & Reach Your Goals
You don’t need to spend all your time with hundreds of different mentors, each offering unique, differing advice and guidance. But having a few key mentors can really help with your career and allow you to see things in a completely different light.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you aren’t going to have your dream team immediately. But by allowing yourself to have multiple mentors, it means that the ones you do have don’t need to be perfectly aligned with you - you can have the space to seek guidance from lots of different places and be better in the long run.
Meridith Marshall is the CEO and Founder of Uncharted Way and has seen firsthand how people and organizations can navigate the most difficult of circumstances with clarity and openness to improve employee experience and culture in their workplace. She is an industry-recognized expert in using a data-driven approach, and is an Interaction Associates trained facilitator and certified Co-Active coach.